It feels like Winter out today. The temperature is below 60º and we’ve turned the heat on for the first time. I’m lazing around in layers and Charlie is laying near the the heat register.
The cold temperature sets off every nerve ending I have and it feels like pain. I haven’t posted in a bit because I’m having terrible pain attacks. l spent one whole day sleeping just to avoid the pain.
As for my family; at least they’ve had the decency to stay away. Yes, I miss my Mother but she too was a participant in the group that said, “under no circumstances could she ever forgive my nephews” and then turned around and couldn’t wait to be with them. If you have a principle or moral what reaction should you expect when you violate it?
On the good news side, Charlie has a group of friends that he loves to play with. It’s a site to see other dogs try to flip him when he’s 55 lbs and low to the ground. He’s also taken to sticking his whole head in a container of water and blowing bubbles.
Out of the blue Jeff was asked if he would be willing to work an open house for the previous home we had. Jeff of course, said yes and he’s over there now. I’m home watching Charlie (mostly giving him treats) and working on cleaning-up my
I’m having a massive Pancreatitis attack today probably due to the stress from my family. This all happened because we refused a dinner invitation. My doctor gave me another pill and I’m fine now. We’re headed out to dinner with a group of friends. It should be fun.
We were thinking about getting a golf cart to make it easier for me to get around but now we have to payoff a phone that we asked to be returned. The golf cart will probably have to wait a couple of months – no biggie
Today is the anniversary of my Father’s passing. He would be appalled if he knew the state his family had formed.
I also received the final report on x-rays of my Lumbar Spine. In non technical terms, I have bone on bone between disc L5 and S1. This means that I have bone on bone between the last disc and the Sciatic nerve bundle. The reason I thought I broke my tailbone is because the condition is getting worse. Eventually I lose the ability to use my left leg. There is a surgical procedure that can try and fix it but because mine is bilateral (right to left) the chances of success are very low.
With that I say good night and hope for a better day tomorrow.
Through early morning fog I see visions of the things to be the pains that are withheld for me I realize and I can see…
that suicide is painless it brings on many changes and I can take or leave it if I please. I try to find a way to make all our little joys relate without that ever-present hate but now I know that it’s too late, and…
The game of life is hard to play I’m gonna lose it anyway The losing card I’ll someday lay so this is all I have to say. The only way to win is cheat And lay it down before I’m beat and to another give my seat for that’s the only painless feat.
The sword of time will pierce our skins It doesn’t hurt when it begins But as it works its way on in The pain grows stronger…watch it grin, but… A brave man once requested me to answer questions that are key is it to be or not to be and I replied ‘oh why ask me?’
Cause suicide is painless it brings on many changes and I can take or leave it if I please. …and you can do the same thing if you please.
It’s cloudy here today with a little bit of a chill in the air (for me). I’m having a plus day. I got to sleep-in an extra hour! Sleeping is difficult for me because the pain usually wakes me up. Jeff went to the airport to pick-up some friends so I have alone time to enjoy.
I’m feeling at peace with the world today. I’m also grateful for all the good people and things around me.
Sorry for being away so long. I’ve been really sick with everything hitting at once. I’m back on the road to “normal’ for me. Today is a plus day.
We’ve had a water leak at the house for about 2 weeks now. Yesterday it was fixed
It’s amazing that the water lines aren’t that deep. I guess I’m still used to New York where all the lines were 3 feet deep. They also use PVC here – not copper. Hopefully we’ll have move away before the system gives way again.
As for me, the more pain that I have the less I want to live. Yesterday when everything was going wrong I wanted to kill myself. Instead, I did the write thing and got ahold of the doctor. It’s amazing that his advice worked. So, I’m still here struggling but doing the best I can. I treasure our friends – they know me well and don’t take any crap from me
All around me people have been ill with some kind of: cold, virus or plague. I’ve been proud of myself for avoiding it; until today. My joints hurt, throat sore, congested nose, etc. Today is a minus day. I will not miss Thanksgiving. My Sister-in-Law and my Nephew are coming for a visit. I will not miss them.
I’m taking it slow today and send my best to all for a Happy Thanksgiving.